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Θουκυδίδης ξυνέγραψε τὸν πόλεμον,–ὡς ἐπολέμησαν πρὸς ἀλλήλους,–ἐλπισας Μέγαν τε ἔσεσθαι, καὶ άξιολογώτατον τῶν προγεγενημένων.
When civil dudgeon first ran high,And men fell out, they knew not why;When hard words, jealousies, and fears,Set folks together by the ears,And made them fight, like mad or drunk.
UNIOMACHIA.
2. ὠλδμαίδην. Pessime hoc verbum ver- tit Paunchius, quasi instrumentum ex fe- nestra detrusum. Melius noster Heavy- sternius pro ano id accipiendum putat: Gallice. UNE VIEILLE1212 Printed: VIELLE PUCELLE. Anglice, OLD MAID.
Βροόμαν. Scopa qua1313 Printed: quā. cancelli sca- larum purgantur: unde pro cancellario plerumque sumitur.Anglice, LORD CHAN- CELLOR.
4. Locus disputatus. Quid enim vult poeta? Bentleius, incaute, ut ego quidem arbitror, legit ὄννιον, quasi cepa; Anglice. ONION. Hanc autem stultissimam inter- pretationem asse non emerem. Vid. Ex- curs. Heyn. in loc. quo optime demonstrat oppidum fuisse quoddam, ab hoste oppug- natum, quod Rambleri quidam, (scilicet, populorum reguli) deseruere.
Confer Milton, P. L. ii. "High on a throne of royal state," etc.
12. Καρπέτῳ. Expediunt quidam ut sit καραπέτῳ, locus excelsus unde in caput excidere possumus. Nescio an recte. –Dunderheadius.
13. Μάτθευς.–Quid cum hoc versu faci- emus? Quisnam foret hic Matthews, et cuiusmodi1414 Printed: cujusmodi. forent hi πύνοι inter doctos maxime agitatur. Thickskullius ignoran- tiam suam candide profitetur. Matthews, ut volunt aliqui, comoedus1515 Printed: comœdus. celeberrimus fuit, qui iocis iuvenes1616 Printed: jocis juvenes. oblectavit. Ego autem censeo eum callidum senatorem fuisse qui epulis et facetiis dandis votorum mentes, ut mos fuit Anglorum, sibi conci- liabat.
14. Fortis Unionium dux.
15. μελάγγουνος. Anglice, ut mavult Paunchius, WEARING HIS BACHELOR’S.
19. κλύββην. Quam magno emerim hodie ut sensum aliquem hinc aliquis ex- tundat. Heavysternius id societatem ju- venum esse putat. Ego autem arbitror fustem quendam fuisse. Anglice, SHIL- LELAGH.2424 Printed: SHILLELAH–Dunderheadius.
26. Σκιμμήριος. Locus hic disputatus est. Quidam legunt Κιμμήριος: Apud Homerum, Κιμμήριοι vocantur ἔσχατοι ἀνδρῶν. i.e. Ultimi virorum. Skimmeria autem, ubi gentium fuit? Jubberi2525 A personal name (Jubber), accordingly not regularised. templo vicinam fuisse vetus scholium monet. Quis autem fuit ipse Jubberus? Ubi ter- rarum eius Templum? Credo Σκιμμήριος nomen, Σίνκλαιρος agnomen esse, inde additum quia eloquens erat, et quoddam- modo clare canere, (Anglice, SING CLEAR) poterat. Alioqui Κιμμήριος legendum; nam extrema Caledonia2626 Printed: extremā Caledoniā. oriendum esse, Slawkenberg. testatur.–Dunderheadius.
38. κλάσσμαν. Locus “hic niger est.” Praeclarus3737 Printed: Præclarus. ille Vangander mavult classmannos eos fuisse qui summos ho- nores adepti sunt. At ego compertum habeo Dunderheadius, eos rerum mariti- marum, scilicet classiariarum, peritos fu- isse. Anglice, HORSE-MARINES.
43. Apud hunc populum barbarus mos fuit tauros infelices palo, (Anglice, STAKE,) deligandi, et canibus vexandi; ut, hercle, hac saevitia3838 Printed: hāc sævitiā. utentes ofellas, (Anglice, BEEF-STAKES,) molliores redderent. Heavysternius.
58. γασλεῖτου. Scholiastes dicit γα- σλεῖτον3939 Note printed across the page break; transcribed here in full for legibility. lucernam fuisse, a laqueare sus- pensam. Inepta et stultissima interpre- tatio! Pro γασλεῖτος, ego γλάσσκασος legendum puto: scilicet scrinium (Anglice, CUPBOARD,) quo pocula e vitro confecta (Anglice, TUMBLERS,) servabant Angli.
68. πῖλον. Aliqui volunt κυνεήν. Me iudice5454 Printed: judice. interpretari potest, Gallice, CHA- PEAU. Anglice, A HAT. Aliter, TRENCHER-CAP.
69. Ἰύγγινσος. Codex S. C. L. ha- bet v. l. Λύγγινσος; alii legunt Ῥάνδαλλος. Nonnulli Σλάττηρος. Lectoris iudicium5555 Printed: judicium. esto.
70. πώλης. Quis fuit hic venditor? Forsan praeclarus5656 Printed: præclarus. ille Juppius5757 A personal name (Jupp), accordingly not regularised., in Via5858 Printed: Viā. Regentis. Vide Heavysternii Excurs. IV.
78. κόμμιτι. Suidas ἀπὸ τοῦ κόμμι derivat; de eis5959 Printed: iis. qui officio quasi agglutinati adhaerent:6060 Printed: adhærent. quod in publicis Angliae6161 Printed: Angliæ. Mi- nistris non sine admiratione observamus.–Heavysternius.
96. κάββοι. A καββαίνειν, vel κατα- βαίνειν, quia saepissime7575 Printed: sæpissime. eiciebantur7676 Printed: ejiciebantur. au- rigae.7777 Printed: aurigæ.
97. Ἀγορὴν Σίτου καὶ Φαῤῥοφ. Cae- cutientes7878 Printed: Cæcutientes. admiror interpretes! Vix enim credibile est mihi tandem, hic poetam non innuere horrea Aegyptiaca,7979 Printed: Ægyptiaca. quae8080 Printed: quæ. sub rege Pharaoh (Φαῤῥοφ,) Josephus constituit.– Dunderheadius.
106. ἐκσμώχουσι. In hoc antiquissimo poemate, nullus est locus isto corruptior. Hem! tibi solertiam veterum Commen- tatorum!! Hi enim insulsissimi et magis asinorum nomine quam doctorum digni dicunt;–“Britannos olim, necnon et Ba- tavos, herba quadam perniciosa8181 Printed: herbā quādam perniciosā.et ad intox- icandum idonea,8282 Printed: idoneā.cui nomen fictum dederunt TOBACCO, usos esse. Hanc bene circum- plicatam et inflammatam labris eos inter- posuisse, et aeris8383 Printed: aëris.suctione per eam σμῶξαι, i.e. flammam et fumum excitasse, et inspi- rata expirasse.” Has aniles fabulas, has meras nugas, “credat Judaeus8484 Printed: Judæus. Apella, Non ego.” Cum8585 Printed: quum. nihil de eo pro certo habeo, nihil proferre audeo. Hunc versum, Lector benevole, si me audis, omnino re- ice.8686 Printed: rejice.
Hac nostra cura et opera fruere,8787 Printed: hāc nostrā curā et operā. et vale.–Dunderheadius.
2. ὠλδμαῖδην quasi ὅλην δμωΐδα.
4. Ὕνιον. Pessime8888 Printed: Pessimè. in hoc loco lapsi sunt interpretes. Tu vero si sapis, me- cum repone Οὔνιον: a quo verbo Mer- curius Furacissimus Deus Ἐριούνιος ap- pellatur: ab orationum plagiariis enim, ut ex Hesychio (Angl. a silent member) docemur, nomen societati est inditum.
5. Ῥαμβλήρους. Quoniam in hac voce insit vagandi sensus nullus, dubitaverim quin a8989 Printed: à [i.e. ā]. ῥὰ, et ambulare sit compositum: quod iam9090 Printed: jam. tandem Scholiastae9191 Printed: Scholiastæ. Romano etiam video suboluisse.
19. Anglice9292 Printed: Anglicè. dicas, “Basket us by their new club.” φόρμος.
20. δέβατα a βάτον, vepris quia contio- nes nodosae9393 Printed: conciones nodosæ. erant.
24. κλάπον, anne a κλέπτω? v. 35. κλέπτε νόῳ.9494 The printed number is an error: the phrase is found in verse 39. et supra ad l. 4.
32. ἀβύζειν. Aeol.9595 Printed: Æol. a9696 Printed: à [i.e. ā]. βάζειν lacessere conviciis.
49. Hoc verbum ὑνείονες, lucem ac- cipit a Pind. Pyth. VI. l52. ἀρχαῖον ὄνειδος–Βοιωτίαν ὕν.9797 A misattribution: the phrase is from the sixth Olympian ode, lines 89-90, and perhaps its scholion.
43. μάκουσι δέβατα. A μῆκος, μάσσων, μάκιστος. "Longissima faciunt".9898 An error: this phrase is found in verse 53.
54. Παλμερίωνι. Qui Homero Μηριόνης. Lege ΠΑΛ. PAL. est Socius. Vide Slang-dictionary.
58. γασλείτου. Lege divisim γᾶς λει- τοῦ - λειτὸς adjectivum a λέως (unde λειτουργία) ut sit ager publicus (Angl. common) qui in summis collibus fere erat; unde κατέβη Minerva. Μαΐωνι fors. Μυίωνι. Anglice, a hornet.
65. βελογγεῖν, a λαγχάνω perf. med. λέλογχα. Aeol. βελογ.—προμίσω a προ- ομνύναι.
67. Ταιεῖτος anne a9999 Printed: à [i.e. ā]. Ταϋγετὸς, utpote Spartanus? Certe Laconica brevitate uti coactus est, multa HS CCXL irrogata.100100 Printed: mulctā...irrogatā.
69. Ἰύγγινσος. Nomen desideratum! ab ἴυγξ. Aesch. Pers. et alibi.101101 Printed: Æsch. Reference to Aeschylus, Persians 989
80. Gratulor mihi cui Virum Laude omni dignum hodie tandem ab Horatii malignitate vindicare contingit, talia ca- nentis, “Mentemque lymphatam Mareotico:"102102 Reference to Horace Odes 1.37.14. nisi ibi corrigendum Galeotico, γαλεώτης enim apud Comici Nubes103103 Reference to Aristophanes, Clouds 173-4. idem sonat quod τόμκαττος, supra.
Ὠρειήλων idem est quod Ῥαμβλήρων ab ὄρος mons et ἀλᾶσθαι104104 Printed: ἁλᾶσθαι. errare.
105. ΤΟΔΔΙΟΝ· Ἀλκιβιάδης μεθυσθείς ποτε, καὶ τούτου γευσάμενος ἥσθη·105105 Printed: ἤσθη.εἰπεῖν δὲ βουλόμενος ὅτι Τόδε Δῖον (i. e. Hoc divi- num est) οὐκ ἠδυνήθη, ἀλλὰ ἀεί πως τραυλίζων, καὶ τότε εὖ βεβαπτισμένος, Τόδδιον ἐβαττάριζειν· ὅθεν τοὔνομα. Athe- naeus Deipnos.
106. Βράνδια vox e Latino prandium confecta, usurpabatur; quia vespere su- mebantur Βράνδια, mane Prandia.
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Jackson, Thomas, 1812-1886; Sinclair, William, 1804-1878; Scott, Robert, 1811-1887. Uniomachia, Canino-Anglico-Graece et Latine. Oxford : D. A. Talboys 1833Editorial principles
Uniomachia was composed in 1833 as a response to a schism in the history of the Oxford Union Society, Oxford University’s famous affiliated debating society and members’ club. In protest at the election of a Liberal Standing Committee, the Society’s executive body, several Tory ex-committee members formed a new debating club which they named the Ramblers. Concerned that the latter was drawing away Union members, the incumbent committee motioned to expel all Ramblers from the Oxford Union in an acrimonious debate.
Concerned that this schism would tear both the Society and their friendships apart, two undergraduates of St Mary Hall, Thomas Jackson and William Sinclair, decided that the best way to heal the rift would be to immortalise the debate in poetry. The resulting work, Uniomachia or ‘Battle at the Union’ is a pastiche of Homeric epic, composed in Homeric hexameters and an absurd macaronic Anglo-Greek; the poem’s name recalls discrete battle episodes or -machies in early Greek hexameter poetry (such as the 'Theomachy' of Iliad Book 20 or the 'Titanomachy' of Hesiod’s Theogony 664-728) as well as ancient satires of the Homeric poems such as the Classical Batrakhomyomakhia or ‘Battle of the Frogs and Mice’. The text quotes liberally from Homer’s Iliad, equates its protagonists – various Union committee members – with Homeric heroes, and satirises Homeric style and narrative features for comic effect to turn what must have been a fairly unpleasant and petty argument into an honour-dispute between mighty warriors. The result lionises and legitimises both sides of the schism while exposing the fundamental triviality of the disagreement by contrast with the real tragedy and pathos of the Homeric original.
Upon its publication Uniomachia was an instant hit, with several improved editions published in the same year and a Popean translation following thereafter, which has been published on Taylor Editions by Dr Laura Johnson. Indeed, the poem as a whole owes much to Pope’s Dunciad (1728-43). Posing as a scholarly edition of an antiquissimum poema or 'most ancient poem', the Greek text is supplemented by a line-by-line translation into dog-Latin prose and a set of critical notes in which Jackson and Sinclair, as ‘editors’ under the pseudonyms Habbakukius Dunderheadius and Heavysternius respectively, puzzle over aspects of their text; this fourth and most complete edition was supplemented by a set of additional notes produced by Robert Scott (of the later Liddle and Scott Greek Lexicon) under the pseudonym Slawkenbergius. Intended partly to satirise contemporary textual and literary-historical scholarship, the notes provided by Jackson, Sinclair and Scott give the impression of a pretentious faux-erudition, with recondite Latin vocabulary, strong personal opinions unsupported by evidence, frequent insults directed at the intelligence of editorial ‘predecessors’, and shoehorned references to Classical sources.
There are obvious barriers to reading and enjoying the humour of Uniomachia. It is written in two ancient languages, and many of the jokes contained within it depend either on a knowledge of Classical philology or of the Oxford Union and city of Oxford in the 1830s. This edition attempts to surmount these barriers by offering a critical transcription of the text alongside a translation into modern English prose, both of which have been encoded with a high level of functionality to allow access by classicists and non-classicists alike.
Transcription. Uniomachia was composed by able students and printed in Oxford by a printer who did not himself read Greek. This shows in a number of small errors in the text, notably inaccuracies in Greek rough and smooth breathings (the difference between an initial h or not) and accents. Unfortunately, it is also evident that some ‘mistakes’ in the text are intentional: for example, the repeated rendering of ‘Union’ as Hunion is the subject of jokes in the critical notes, and misattributions of classical sources may likewise contribute to the overall tone of humorous faux-erudition; updating these ‘mistakes’ therefore risks losing something from the text. On the other hand, a text rendered in nineteenth-century orthography necessarily needs some updating for the twenty-first century. In order to produce a clearer text I have adopted modern orthographic conventions: spelling out the ligatures æ and œ (laetatus vs lætatus) and rendering semivowel j as i (iam vs jam) and omitting macrons showing long vowels, among other changes. To make vocabulary clearer for the reader, I have likewise updated out-of-date renderings of Latin words – for example, concio replaced by contio. All editorial decisions either to update or retain the original text, as well as brief explanations of any significant issues, are clearly marked in the transcription using drop-down text notes, which can be accessed by hovering your mouse over or clicking on the relevant superscript number. Hovering over a line of the Greek or Latin text will highlight its corresponding line in the other language; clicking a word for which there is a corresponding note in the apparatus criticus will take you to that note, and vice versa; and the text has been adorned liberally with external links to illuminate people, places, and historical and textual references; these have largely been repeated in the translation. Page breaks, line indentation and columns have been preserved unless otherwise noted.
Translation. My translation of the text of Uniomachia attempts to render the text in straightforward English that is both faithful to the Greek and retains the macaronic English words as far as possible; reference to the Latin text, which occasionally offers clarification on the meaning of the Greek, is clearly marked in the notes. My translation of the critical notes always offers a transliteration of Greek text, with Greek, ‘Anglo-Greek’ (hellenised macaronic English words) and Latin words translated either in the run of the text or in an explanatory note. In the translation, superscript notes may be hovered or clicked to access drop-down commentary notes, explaining references, quotations and jokes, with reference to relevant primary sources. As in the transcription, external links have been placed throughout the text to offer contextual and bibliographic information. So that references within the text can be easily located, my English translation, like the Latin of the original text, is laid out line-by-line, with correspondences between the English and Greek lines and the translations and relevant transcriptions of the pseudo-critical notes.
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